(me and my new friend niki)
So after some tragic ordeals, and a few suicide attempt’s i have returned to tumblr with a new heart and a clean mind. After a bone breaking fall to rock bottom (again) i finally got my life back on track, and ready to re enter life ( hahahaahha im funny :3 ) I have never in my life been in more pain than i was a while ago.
I learned a lot this month and few weeks:
-DONT LIVE FOR SOMEONE chances are they’ll leave you and it will fucking hurt like hell.
- as much as you love your friends (god bless my wonder friends) at the end of the day, you must relie on yourself and yourself alone. You are your bestest friend and lover. love yourself more than anyone else. sometimes the people you love the most will leave, sometimes the people you care about the most will hurt you. Learn to be able to live with and without them.
- sometimes what doesnt kill you, makes you wish it had. DONT GIVE IN! life might suck sometimes, a lot of the times, but there is always a reason to go on, even if its the littlest thing, like your fave show is coming on in a few days, or your gonna buy a new book soon, there is ALWAYS a fucking reason. just hold on a little longer.
-if you see someone hurting, in pain or trying/thinking of dying TELL SOMEONE ASAP! dont fucking sit there and try to make it better yourself, because chances are if there in pain, they dont give a fuck what you say, they need real help, and sometimes, a friend or a shoulder to cry on isnt enough!
- As much as I hate to admit it but, death is legit not the answer. im not going with the whole oh “suicide is a pernament solution to a temporary problem” like really fuck that. We dont know whats on the other side, we dont really know if theres a heaven or hell, if we will be reborn, of if there is nothing. But think, what if there is nothing on the other side. YOu will be come nothing. as peaceful as that sounds, its really not. YOU WILL BE WIPED OUT FOREVER
BEING MISERABLE IS BETTER THAN BEING NOTHING AT ALL.
there is always something to hold on to, there is always a reason.
I have a new love for life, I dont want to die anymore, i want to live. I learned you really cant accept happiness without pain! its so true and i hate admitting that. you cant have the rainbow with out the stupid rain.
The best of us fall, and sometimes hell becomes like home, but eventually it will try to kill you. life isnt always nice, its a bitch and it hurts, but its also bueatiful, and i plan on bathing in its beauty all this pain in the end is worth it, its always worth it, it just doesnt feel like it is sometimes.
It isnt going to get better inelss you try and never stop. The pain will never go away, pain will always be there, but its part of life, and if theres pain than happiness must be real to. night doesnt last forever! The sun always rises!
Hey how do you think diamonds are formed anyways? Its not a pretty process!
Stay Strong and Happy Blogging!